Single parent in Malaysia
About Me
- A.Parent
- Negeri Sembilan, Malaysia
- I'm a simple parent, living a real everyday life.
Monday, November 8, 2010
In Support of Breastfeeding moms.
I am in total support of breastfeeding.
In Malaysia, it is good that the Ministry of Health is all for breastfeeding and all those who have their babies in government hospitals, are strongly encouraged to breastfeed. I am glad of the post-delivery support the hospital provides. For me a new mom clueless about breastfeeding, they helped me alot.
I encountered problems when I was out in public and needed to breastfeed. No 1 major problem was there are limited areas where you can breastfeed your child in comfort. Try looking for a place to beastfeed when you are at a bus terminal, or market, or cinema, or even shopping complexes. Living in Seremban a growing town, the only place, 6 yrs ago that had a breastfeeding room was in Jusco, it was in the baby's area and it was a small one but at least they had one. Other public places that had breastfeeding areas were the hospitals or pediatrician clinics.
So there I was in a mall in town one day and I needed to feed my baby and the only place was A&W in Ocean Mall, so i took a seat in a fairly quiet area and got as comfortable as I could (you know those chairs that were joined to the tables) and proceeded to breastfeed my baby. As I looked up, there far across from me was a family of 5, mom, dad and 3 kids and the "dad" was staring at me. I promptly stared right back at him until he lowered his eyes. His wife, when she saw me, gave me a snub and mumbled something (probably cursing me).
Their attitude was that I had no right to breast feed my baby in public. I do not understand why they feel the way they do when breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world. There is nothing offensive about breast feeding your baby. our moms and grand moms and their moms probably breastfed too.
When is it that formula milk become the better food for our babies compared to breast milk? When is it that our babies suckling a plastic bottle with a rubber nipple became more natural than what our breasts and nipples were made for?
Breast milk is the best milk and there is nothing shameful with breastfeeding our children. So to quote a site that I am in support of :
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Vintage art
I saw today a friend of mine has almost the same interest as me in vintage art.
Which triggered me on a hunting spree for the vintage pin up art pictures.
I just love these pictures these are so elegantly done.
Some people may think these are rude or porn but to me it is art as it is elegant and classic.
It's just so pretty.
Which triggered me on a hunting spree for the vintage pin up art pictures.
I just love these pictures these are so elegantly done.
Some people may think these are rude or porn but to me it is art as it is elegant and classic.
It's just so pretty.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Fatal Crashes on the highways recently.
Reading about the fatal accidents on the highways in Malaysia recently, is making me more nervous about driving outstation.
In my job, I tend to travel alot. Driving a 13 yr old car, alone on the highway, always makes me extra cautious. I tend to drive around 80-90km per hour and never drive on the fast lane.
There were many times when my fellow road users make me so angry because they have totally no regard for the safety of those around them.
Big vehicles, like express buses, trailers, trucks, lorries big or small, will be zooming way past their speed limit of 80/90km/h. Many times they will drive as close to the back of my car and flash their lights to tell me to move out of their way. What I do not understand is why can't they over take my slower car instead of trying to force me to move away? I'm already driving in the slow lane, why can't they understand that if you want to overtake a slow vehicle use the right lane?
There was once a truck carrying oil, who practically forced me out of the far left lane and I had to drive off the road into the grassy area! There were no vehicles in the middle lane but he refused to overtake my car properly, he tailgated me for about 1 minute flashing his lights and then when I refused to move into the right lane, he over took my car and on purpose cut right in front of me half of the body of his truck almost slammed into my car and it was 2o'clock in the afternoon!
Why is it there are people who are so selfish when driving? Seriously, These types of drives need to be put away before the murder innocent people.
Why can't large vehicles be implemented with a devise that controls the speed limit?
I think this is the only way if we cannot control these drivers and we want to do something about our own safely on the roads, then PLEASE DO something!
In my job, I tend to travel alot. Driving a 13 yr old car, alone on the highway, always makes me extra cautious. I tend to drive around 80-90km per hour and never drive on the fast lane.
There were many times when my fellow road users make me so angry because they have totally no regard for the safety of those around them.
Big vehicles, like express buses, trailers, trucks, lorries big or small, will be zooming way past their speed limit of 80/90km/h. Many times they will drive as close to the back of my car and flash their lights to tell me to move out of their way. What I do not understand is why can't they over take my slower car instead of trying to force me to move away? I'm already driving in the slow lane, why can't they understand that if you want to overtake a slow vehicle use the right lane?
There was once a truck carrying oil, who practically forced me out of the far left lane and I had to drive off the road into the grassy area! There were no vehicles in the middle lane but he refused to overtake my car properly, he tailgated me for about 1 minute flashing his lights and then when I refused to move into the right lane, he over took my car and on purpose cut right in front of me half of the body of his truck almost slammed into my car and it was 2o'clock in the afternoon!
Why is it there are people who are so selfish when driving? Seriously, These types of drives need to be put away before the murder innocent people.
Why can't large vehicles be implemented with a devise that controls the speed limit?
I think this is the only way if we cannot control these drivers and we want to do something about our own safely on the roads, then PLEASE DO something!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Merdeka tomorrow.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
It's Merdeka tomorrow and all around me there is almost nothing that shows me that tomorrow is the 31st of August 2010 the 53rd year of Malaysia's Independence and that we as a nation is excited to celebrate it. Shops, offices, houses, cars, are hardly flying any flags.
Yesterday while I was driving with my family and my 6 yr old daughter asked me why the taxi beside my car had a flag on it's car, that was when i realised that Tuesday will be Merdeka.
After explaining to my 6 yr old what merdeka meant and recounting stories of my younger days when everywhere i looked had flags flying proudly, it hit me again that Malaysians doesn't seem excited this year! (may be not for a few years already).
I myself did not bother to go get a flag for my car this year, in fact i didn't get one last year either!
personally, my reason was I'm disappointed with what is happening in this dear country of mine.
Top of with the way my pockets has been lately, I decided to show my displeasure, I would not fly the flag on my car. (cut cost mah!)
However, looking all around me even this morning (the eve of Merdeka) I saw very very few cars that had flags. In about 20 vehicles i encountered only 1 had a flag. It made my eyes sting with tears, I feel so very sad for this beautiful country of mine. The sadness in my heart almost feels like the pain of losing a dear friend.
Is it really true that there are so many of us Malaysians who are so unhappy that we are not flying our Country's flag today? And if this is really true what are we so unhappy about? and the biggest question is what are we going to do about it?
For me, I want my daughter to feel proud of her country, Malaysia, the land, the people, we are what counts.
The politics can go to hell for all i care now.
This is my country, my home, this land is where i was born, where my mother (my mom was Chinese) was born and died at the age of 63 in 2004. This is where my daughter was born. This land is where my dad (by the way my dad is Indian) was born he's 72yrs old. This land is where my dear 90 yr old Auntie May De Costa (she's Portuguese) was born! This is our home. YES! this land, Malaysia, is our country. We are the people of Malaysia, Please show us a little respect and not call us pendatang, penumpang,etc. Do not discriminate against me by my race for I'm a Malaysian.
So I will celebrate Merdeka this year for this land, Malaysia. I will now go out and buy a flag to put on my car to show that I am Malaysian. I'm flying this flag for my Malaysia and not for any politicians out there. The politicians (many of them) has forgotten what their job is supposed to be about! By the way, please take note here that I wrote politicians and not just government or opposition, this is because politicians covers them all!
And lastly to all fellow Malaysians, I wish you a Happy 53rd Merdeka tomorrow.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
"Dirty Dancing"
How many parents think that this movie has corrupted our kids?
Well, let me say this, I watched this movie when i was 16 or 17yrs old (about 15yrs ago). I totally enjoyed the movie and i felt i wished I could dance that good. It however did not make me go out and get laid!
Watching this again now though made me realise the very quiet message that "Baby" in that movie trusted her father (the doctor) so much that she went to him when her friend was in need. She know she might get in trouble with her father but her trust & faith in her dad, that he will help, made her go straight to him. The father, upheld her trust by treating her friend even though later he had words with his daughter.
The lesson here was we parents need to have our children belive in us before they will come to us.
Just shoving moral studies down their throat is not going to be enough. Blaming and finger pointing is so not going to help.
That's just my two cents worth.
Well, let me say this, I watched this movie when i was 16 or 17yrs old (about 15yrs ago). I totally enjoyed the movie and i felt i wished I could dance that good. It however did not make me go out and get laid!
Watching this again now though made me realise the very quiet message that "Baby" in that movie trusted her father (the doctor) so much that she went to him when her friend was in need. She know she might get in trouble with her father but her trust & faith in her dad, that he will help, made her go straight to him. The father, upheld her trust by treating her friend even though later he had words with his daughter.
The lesson here was we parents need to have our children belive in us before they will come to us.
Just shoving moral studies down their throat is not going to be enough. Blaming and finger pointing is so not going to help.
That's just my two cents worth.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
My dad and Me
I started writing this in April 2010 but some how time just flew by and i only finished this today.
My parents were divorced when I was 5. Being raise by my mo, meant I didnt have a close relationship with my dad. For many years we are more like strangers.
The times when he did come to visit me, It was very awkward for me but as I grew older I suspected it was awkward for my Dad as well.
Why my parents got a divorce? I have never found out the actual truth. After all my parents had 4 kids and were together for 6 years. My very vague memories of the times before I was even in nursery was of my mom and dad quite happy together. Before the many fights. My mom had never given me the actual reason. Oh, there were lots of reasons that I heard from many people including my mom but even when I was very much younger I knew the true reason why mom decided to leave my dad was not revealed to me. And I will never know. My dad nor my mom never remarried. They both came close to remarrying other people though I know but neither did in the end.
However, I strongly suspect that my dad had hurt my mom so much so, that she left him. Anyway that is my mom's story to tell. May she rest in peace.
What I wanted to write today was about my feelings for my dad.
As I mentioned before, I was never close to my dad, having grown up without a father figure was not a disadvantage to me. However it left me with not much feelings for my dad. I do not know what and how to feel for my dad. I'm not saying I'm heartless, but what I'm saying is I do not know how to be a daughter to him. We saw very little of my dad when we were younger. I remember I saw him once at Christmas and then hardly ever, other then the couple of times when he took us to Singapore just him and us 3 kids. We stayed with our Uncle & our cousins there. I remember at that time he was still working with MAS (Malaysia Airlines). Then sometime when I was about 10 he took a job in Saudi Arabia the next time I saw my dad was when I was 14. and I saw him again a couple of times mostly once a year. Then as I grew up I did not see him again until I was in my 20's.
The emotions I have concerning him are a variety of negative emotions, like feeling frustrated (because he messes himself up now that he is old and when he is lazy because he wants the attention like a child), impatient, sometimes even angry coz He is not taking responsibility for his own health. However, when I do take a moment to sit and think about him, I feel sad and depressed because I know a daughter should not feel so much negative emotions for her father. Under normal circumstances I mostly feel sorry for him. He is now old and he has no one.
I wish with all my heart we had a better relationship. I know in the last 2 decades he has tried to make amends for what ever he had done when he was younger. The problem was I did not have a connection with him. Our relationship improved a bit (as in we got to know more about each other) in 2003 when he came and lived with me in a flat. And when I left for England I knew he was sad to see me go. The last day that I saw him before I left the flat, I saw how sad he was like he knew his chance of growing closer to me had just vanished. That day I promised him and my self that I'll try harder to be a better daughter to him. But since then it has not happened.
In 2004 my mom told my dad just before she passed away that she forgave him for everything that has happened. She then asked us her children to do the same and to forgive him too and I gave my promise to her. Over time, I've definitely slipped up. Forgiving was not the problem. However it was that I have not been taking care of him.
Mainly due to his ill health which requires full time attention which I am unable to give him and also due to financial issues (the lack of). I had my dad come live with me sometime in Jun 2009. I had a room set up for him, cooked his lunch at 6am. Laid out the table for him before I left for work so he just had to walk to the dining table and serve himself. I had to wash & scrub the toilet more then normal because he made a mess every time. I had to wash and clean up his mess. Until the day he collapsed once when I was not around and he dragged himself to the room. The 2nd time when I was almost out the door to go to work. My dad is a tall man 6 footer, and even though he was thin he weights 70kgs. He was very much incapable of looking after himself and I did not have the strength and resources to take care of him. Further more being a single parent myself I was stretched to the limit.
With all that being said, It doesn't excuse me from being a compassionate person. After all he is an old man and deserves at more then just impatience from me. My dad had to go live in a charity home for the aged. At least there there was someone to look after him 24/7.
I, however, have just allowed time to slip by day after day without going to visit him once in the year he left my house. Ok yes times were bad, I lost my job had no work for a couple of months, finally am working again but have to pay off debts collected during my 'no work time', been sick, etc,etc. Yet till now April 2010 I have not visited him and I had not made any plans yet. Having a hope to one day afford a home & a maid to look after my dad doesn't count when I have not made the effort to go visit him.
Today, it's the 7th of August 2010. been months since I wrote the above story.
My news update is since I wrote the above, I have made the necessary effort to see my dad.
I've taken turns with his sister to take him for his monthly medical check ups. I also see him once in a month on a visit.
The 1st time I went to see him, he looked totally different from the man who left my house last year. He looked much much older, he couldn't walk needed a wheel chair.
I'm glad to say that he has improved some now. Last month when I went to take him to the doc, he did not need the wheel chair to get him form his bed to the car. He walked with my help but at least he walked. He looks a bit stronger but thin.
He still complaints about the food served. My dad is a meat man. Now he has to eat lots of veges only and gets meat only once or twice a week. They are not being mean at the home it's just old people need easy to digest food.
I keep in contact with my dad every week with phone calls. I call him and he'll call me. Our relationship is still not very close but at least we both try.
To all parents our children are a blessing, keep them close to our hearts and let them know you love them for one day we will be old and miss them.
God Bless all parents.
My parents were divorced when I was 5. Being raise by my mo, meant I didnt have a close relationship with my dad. For many years we are more like strangers.
The times when he did come to visit me, It was very awkward for me but as I grew older I suspected it was awkward for my Dad as well.
Why my parents got a divorce? I have never found out the actual truth. After all my parents had 4 kids and were together for 6 years. My very vague memories of the times before I was even in nursery was of my mom and dad quite happy together. Before the many fights. My mom had never given me the actual reason. Oh, there were lots of reasons that I heard from many people including my mom but even when I was very much younger I knew the true reason why mom decided to leave my dad was not revealed to me. And I will never know. My dad nor my mom never remarried. They both came close to remarrying other people though I know but neither did in the end.
However, I strongly suspect that my dad had hurt my mom so much so, that she left him. Anyway that is my mom's story to tell. May she rest in peace.
What I wanted to write today was about my feelings for my dad.
As I mentioned before, I was never close to my dad, having grown up without a father figure was not a disadvantage to me. However it left me with not much feelings for my dad. I do not know what and how to feel for my dad. I'm not saying I'm heartless, but what I'm saying is I do not know how to be a daughter to him. We saw very little of my dad when we were younger. I remember I saw him once at Christmas and then hardly ever, other then the couple of times when he took us to Singapore just him and us 3 kids. We stayed with our Uncle & our cousins there. I remember at that time he was still working with MAS (Malaysia Airlines). Then sometime when I was about 10 he took a job in Saudi Arabia the next time I saw my dad was when I was 14. and I saw him again a couple of times mostly once a year. Then as I grew up I did not see him again until I was in my 20's.
The emotions I have concerning him are a variety of negative emotions, like feeling frustrated (because he messes himself up now that he is old and when he is lazy because he wants the attention like a child), impatient, sometimes even angry coz He is not taking responsibility for his own health. However, when I do take a moment to sit and think about him, I feel sad and depressed because I know a daughter should not feel so much negative emotions for her father. Under normal circumstances I mostly feel sorry for him. He is now old and he has no one.
I wish with all my heart we had a better relationship. I know in the last 2 decades he has tried to make amends for what ever he had done when he was younger. The problem was I did not have a connection with him. Our relationship improved a bit (as in we got to know more about each other) in 2003 when he came and lived with me in a flat. And when I left for England I knew he was sad to see me go. The last day that I saw him before I left the flat, I saw how sad he was like he knew his chance of growing closer to me had just vanished. That day I promised him and my self that I'll try harder to be a better daughter to him. But since then it has not happened.
In 2004 my mom told my dad just before she passed away that she forgave him for everything that has happened. She then asked us her children to do the same and to forgive him too and I gave my promise to her. Over time, I've definitely slipped up. Forgiving was not the problem. However it was that I have not been taking care of him.
Mainly due to his ill health which requires full time attention which I am unable to give him and also due to financial issues (the lack of). I had my dad come live with me sometime in Jun 2009. I had a room set up for him, cooked his lunch at 6am. Laid out the table for him before I left for work so he just had to walk to the dining table and serve himself. I had to wash & scrub the toilet more then normal because he made a mess every time. I had to wash and clean up his mess. Until the day he collapsed once when I was not around and he dragged himself to the room. The 2nd time when I was almost out the door to go to work. My dad is a tall man 6 footer, and even though he was thin he weights 70kgs. He was very much incapable of looking after himself and I did not have the strength and resources to take care of him. Further more being a single parent myself I was stretched to the limit.
With all that being said, It doesn't excuse me from being a compassionate person. After all he is an old man and deserves at more then just impatience from me. My dad had to go live in a charity home for the aged. At least there there was someone to look after him 24/7.
I, however, have just allowed time to slip by day after day without going to visit him once in the year he left my house. Ok yes times were bad, I lost my job had no work for a couple of months, finally am working again but have to pay off debts collected during my 'no work time', been sick, etc,etc. Yet till now April 2010 I have not visited him and I had not made any plans yet. Having a hope to one day afford a home & a maid to look after my dad doesn't count when I have not made the effort to go visit him.
Today, it's the 7th of August 2010. been months since I wrote the above story.
My news update is since I wrote the above, I have made the necessary effort to see my dad.
I've taken turns with his sister to take him for his monthly medical check ups. I also see him once in a month on a visit.
The 1st time I went to see him, he looked totally different from the man who left my house last year. He looked much much older, he couldn't walk needed a wheel chair.
I'm glad to say that he has improved some now. Last month when I went to take him to the doc, he did not need the wheel chair to get him form his bed to the car. He walked with my help but at least he walked. He looks a bit stronger but thin.
He still complaints about the food served. My dad is a meat man. Now he has to eat lots of veges only and gets meat only once or twice a week. They are not being mean at the home it's just old people need easy to digest food.
I keep in contact with my dad every week with phone calls. I call him and he'll call me. Our relationship is still not very close but at least we both try.
To all parents our children are a blessing, keep them close to our hearts and let them know you love them for one day we will be old and miss them.
My dad and my daughter. April 2010
Are rapist & paedophiles living among us?
In our country convicted rapist after being let out from prison, is totally free! They can do what ever they want again because we have no way of tracking them.
Currently, the Penal Code punishment for the rape of a child under 12 is a jail term of up to (this is the maximum) 30 years and caning. most of the time they do not get the maximum.
In 2006,a total of 2,048 rape cases involving girls aged 16 and below were recorded compared with 925 cases in 2005. There is not much figure on rape of boys most probably because it's not reported!
How would I know if my neighbour is a rapist or a paedophile? how would I know if the security guard at my building where i live is a rapist or a paedophile? 
The roti man?
In the US, all sex offenders are registered. It was made it a criminal offense for a registered sex offender to move to another state and knowingly fail to notify the FBI and authorities in the new state. Notification to the FBI and state authorities must be made within 10 days upon moving to a new state and/or establishing residence following release from prison or placed on parole, supervised release, or probation. Upon release, each sex offender is notified of their lawful duty to register with the FBI and appropriate local authorities."
Currently, the Penal Code punishment for the rape of a child under 12 is a jail term of up to (this is the maximum) 30 years and caning. most of the time they do not get the maximum.
Statistics from the police's sexual crimes and children investigation division revealed a 50 per cent rise in the number of sex offences for five consecutive years from 2005.
In 2006,a total of 2,048 rape cases involving girls aged 16 and below were recorded compared with 925 cases in 2005. There is not much figure on rape of boys most probably because it's not reported!How many convicted rapist and paedophiles are out there living among us? May be even living near to us?
How would I know if my neighbour is a rapist or a paedophile? how would I know if the security guard at my building where i live is a rapist or a paedophile? What about the taxi driver? The bus driver? the chicken rice seller?
The roti man? The grocery shop assistant that sends me gas one a month? OK how about more closer? my neighbour's son?
what about my babysitter's husband? what about my husband's friend? what about my boy friend? or fiance?
The point is we do not know who or what those around us can be or even are!
In the US, all sex offenders are registered. It was made it a criminal offense for a registered sex offender to move to another state and knowingly fail to notify the FBI and authorities in the new state. Notification to the FBI and state authorities must be made within 10 days upon moving to a new state and/or establishing residence following release from prison or placed on parole, supervised release, or probation. Upon release, each sex offender is notified of their lawful duty to register with the FBI and appropriate local authorities."I was just thinking our country is focused on vision 2020, the multi media super corridor and such. why can't out country register sex offenders as well?
If only we can adopt the US system for this purpose, i know I would feel much more relieved.
Our Children are prey!
Recently there has been just too many violent acts against children.
Reading about a little child being raped, in front of other children in public had the hairs at the back of my neck stand on end. How can I ever trust sending my child to school in a school van/bus?
In today's papers it was reported of a 12 year old girl who was raped by 3 men! after she had a "telephone affair" with a man. this man duped her into meeting him. someone else met her and took her to meet him however she was rape by 3 other men!
To me it sounded very much like the paper was blaming the 12 yr old girl for "having the telephone affair" with that man in the 1st place!
Why didn't the headline read:-
"Girl was raped because she was conned into meeting a man a telephone relationship"
"Girl’s hand phone affair ends in rape."
They should have highlighted how come a 12 yr old was allowed to be friendly over the telephone with a total stranger?
Why is it our kids are not aware of the dangers out there?
If this child was aware that it was dangerous for her to meet a stranger, she would not have agreed to meet him. If the child was warned against the paedophiles out there this may not have happened!
How old would your would you consider it save for a child be before she / he is allowed to use a pair of adult scissors? At what age is it fine for your child to use a knife by her/him self?
Isn't it true that when your child is learning to use the scissors or knife you would be very close to help him/her with it? to supervise him/her?
The same principle applies to the mobile phone, Internet, car, etc.
Do parents know the dangers of giving too much freedom too soon to the kids?
As a parent, would you, say "hey, you are old enough to learn to use the scissors here take this and use it wisely" to a child that has not had any lessons in using the dangerous object? Would you simply allow unsupervised use of it?
Giving them too much freedom too soon is tantamount to neglecting the safety and well being of these children! Not to mention irresponsible. Isn't it our responsibility to protect the children under our care?
It is our responsibility as parents to PROTECT our kids, by making them aware of the dangers out there!
It is our responsibility to educate our children of the many evils of this world and the evils of humankind in general!
It is our responsibility to make sure our kids comes to us with any tiny problems they may have!
It is our responsibility that our children trust us enough to tell us anything!
Even if it is about a "boy friend, or a girlfriend", even if it is about sex, drugs, anything.
If our children trust us 100% they will not need to do things in secret!
It is OUR responsibility to earn our childrens' trust!
In our country convicted rapist after being let out from prison, is totally free! They can do what ever they want again because we have no way of tracking them.
Currently, the Penal Code punishment for the rape of a child under 12 is a jail term of up to (this is the maximum) 30 years and caning. most of the time they do not get the maximum.
Statistics from the police's sexual crimes and children investigation division revealed a 50 per cent rise in the number of sex offences for five consecutive years from 2005.
In 2006,a total of 2,048 rape cases involving girls aged 16 and below were recorded compared with 925 cases in 2005. There is not much figure on rape of boys most probably because it's not reported!
How many convicted rapist and paedophiles are out there living among us? May be even living near to us? How would I know if my neighbour is a rapist or a paedophile? how would I know if the security guard at my building where i live is a rapist or a paedophile? What about the taxi driver? The bus driver? the chicken rice seller? The roti man? The grocery shop assistant that sends me gas one a month? OK how about more closer? my neighbour's son? what about my babysitter's husband? what about my husband's friend? what about my boy friend? or fiance?
The point is we do not know who or what those around us can be or even are!
In the US, all sex offenders are registered. It was made it a criminal offense for a registered sex offender to move to another state and knowingly fail to notify the FBI and authorities in the new state. Notification to the FBI and state authorities must be made within 10 days upon moving to a new state and/or establishing residence following release from prison or placed on parole, supervised release, or probation. Upon release, each sex offender is notified of their lawful duty to register with the FBI and appropriate local authorities."
I was just thinking our country is focused on vision 2020, the multi media super corridor and such. why can't out country register sex offenders as well? If only we can adopt the US system for this purpose, i know I would feel much more releived.
Reading about a little child being raped, in front of other children in public had the hairs at the back of my neck stand on end. How can I ever trust sending my child to school in a school van/bus?
Are we so lax that anyone is able to obtain a driving license to ferry children? I guess we have no laws in place for that.
In today's papers it was reported of a 12 year old girl who was raped by 3 men! after she had a "telephone affair" with a man. this man duped her into meeting him. someone else met her and took her to meet him however she was rape by 3 other men!
Why didn't the headline read:-
"Girl was raped because she was conned into meeting a man a telephone relationship"
Instead the headline was :-
"Girl’s hand phone affair ends in rape."
They should have highlighted how come a 12 yr old was allowed to be friendly over the telephone with a total stranger?
Why is it our kids are not aware of the dangers out there?
If this child was aware that it was dangerous for her to meet a stranger, she would not have agreed to meet him. How old would your would you consider it save for a child be before she / he is allowed to use a pair of adult scissors? At what age is it fine for your child to use a knife by her/him self?
Isn't it true that when your child is learning to use the scissors or knife you would be very close to help him/her with it? to supervise him/her?
The same principle applies to the mobile phone, Internet, car, etc.
Do parents know the dangers of giving too much freedom too soon to the kids?
As a parent, would you, say "hey, you are old enough to learn to use the scissors here take this and use it wisely" to a child that has not had any lessons in using the dangerous object? Would you simply allow unsupervised use of it?
Giving them too much freedom too soon is tantamount to neglecting the safety and well being of these children! Not to mention irresponsible. Isn't it our responsibility to protect the children under our care?
It is our responsibility as parents to PROTECT our kids, by making them aware of the dangers out there!
It is our responsibility to educate our children of the many evils of this world and the evils of humankind in general!
It is our responsibility to make sure our kids comes to us with any tiny problems they may have!
It is our responsibility that our children trust us enough to tell us anything!
Even if it is about a "boy friend, or a girlfriend", even if it is about sex, drugs, anything.
If our children trust us 100% they will not need to do things in secret!
It is OUR responsibility to earn our childrens' trust!
In our country convicted rapist after being let out from prison, is totally free! They can do what ever they want again because we have no way of tracking them.
Currently, the Penal Code punishment for the rape of a child under 12 is a jail term of up to (this is the maximum) 30 years and caning. most of the time they do not get the maximum.
Statistics from the police's sexual crimes and children investigation division revealed a 50 per cent rise in the number of sex offences for five consecutive years from 2005.
In 2006,a total of 2,048 rape cases involving girls aged 16 and below were recorded compared with 925 cases in 2005. There is not much figure on rape of boys most probably because it's not reported!
How many convicted rapist and paedophiles are out there living among us? May be even living near to us? How would I know if my neighbour is a rapist or a paedophile? how would I know if the security guard at my building where i live is a rapist or a paedophile? What about the taxi driver? The bus driver? the chicken rice seller? The roti man? The grocery shop assistant that sends me gas one a month? OK how about more closer? my neighbour's son? what about my babysitter's husband? what about my husband's friend? what about my boy friend? or fiance?
The point is we do not know who or what those around us can be or even are!
In the US, all sex offenders are registered. It was made it a criminal offense for a registered sex offender to move to another state and knowingly fail to notify the FBI and authorities in the new state. Notification to the FBI and state authorities must be made within 10 days upon moving to a new state and/or establishing residence following release from prison or placed on parole, supervised release, or probation. Upon release, each sex offender is notified of their lawful duty to register with the FBI and appropriate local authorities."
I was just thinking our country is focused on vision 2020, the multi media super corridor and such. why can't out country register sex offenders as well? If only we can adopt the US system for this purpose, i know I would feel much more releived.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Maternit leave? Yes We need more!
I read somewhere something about extra maternity leave ans some people were for it and also some against it.
I am all for it. I'm a mom and If i ever wanna go thru bringing a child in this world again when i'm also working then i will need it! People being a parent to a new born baby is the most stressful, job in the world! especially so if u r a one parent household!
But lets speak for the majority here. imagine the mom after carrying her baby in her body for the past 40 weeks (average to full term) finally gets her body back but from the time she goes into labour (let me emphasise here the word LABOUR) she has no rest and that's not to say she was comfortable in the 40 weeks 4 the labour begun. she only gets relieve once the baby has join the world we live in and is no longer in her body! she has to go thru the 1st day/night with her infant she can sleep no matter how tired she is as there are things to d like changing her cloths a few times and trying to do it without pain. her feelings for the new infant, worrying, dealing with other family members (thank God she has her partner beside her helping her thru). she has to feed the baby (she has to feed it no matter if from her breast or otherwise)
Then this part just continues on for the next week until things calm down a bit at home but she has very little sleep not only the mom but also the dad! for the next week (that's 2 weeks now) the family has to entertain visitors and well wishes too as well as caring for the baby. no rest at nite and not enough rest during the day either. once things settle a bit in another 2 weeks when the confinement time is up, they have to prepare either a kenduri, full moon or baptism celebration. every culture has it's own and it involves a lot of additional stress and sleepless nites.
The next month, things are getting more settled, the mom & dad need to look for someone to take care of the baby once mom starts working again. Unfortunately the mom has to go back to work just after 2months she is not fully recovered her baby is still very young. they both mom & baby need the extra time.
And the fathers should be given more time too. some companies do not even allow the fathers paternity leave not even 1 day! the fathers had 40 weeks of being with his pregnant wife then he had to go thru the labour without being able to offer much but comfort then after that he has to deal wit all the paper work and help his wife with the baby and work a full time job as well.
But we were all babies once and we all had parents too we too may all one day be parents so let's consider are we really a caring society or a money making society?
As a single working adult for 15 yrs of my life I've had a few colleagues who when on maternity leave never once did resentment fill my mind because of any additional work i have due to her absence. never once did i feel "hey why r u getting paid but i'm doing ur work? however i did resent some colleagues who used to take MC's just becoz they cud and not coz they were sick! it was ans still is 2 very different issues to me.
As a parent of a 6 yrs old, and i have no future intentions of having another kid, Malaysia really must realise that when we are caring we get much more then when we are calculative.
If a boss really cares about his/her workers, they will know it and they will give their 110% effort in appreciation!
I've been working for more than 1/2 of my life and i have had the honor of working for some very good people, those of us who had the privileged to work for them, to us it was some of our best memories! I've also had the "horror" of working for some very self serving people and let me tell u i learned the many ways of not giving as much as i can!
So i think it is a very good idea if more time can be given for maternity & paternity leaves.
I am all for it. I'm a mom and If i ever wanna go thru bringing a child in this world again when i'm also working then i will need it! People being a parent to a new born baby is the most stressful, job in the world! especially so if u r a one parent household!
But lets speak for the majority here. imagine the mom after carrying her baby in her body for the past 40 weeks (average to full term) finally gets her body back but from the time she goes into labour (let me emphasise here the word LABOUR) she has no rest and that's not to say she was comfortable in the 40 weeks 4 the labour begun. she only gets relieve once the baby has join the world we live in and is no longer in her body! she has to go thru the 1st day/night with her infant she can sleep no matter how tired she is as there are things to d like changing her cloths a few times and trying to do it without pain. her feelings for the new infant, worrying, dealing with other family members (thank God she has her partner beside her helping her thru). she has to feed the baby (she has to feed it no matter if from her breast or otherwise)
Then this part just continues on for the next week until things calm down a bit at home but she has very little sleep not only the mom but also the dad! for the next week (that's 2 weeks now) the family has to entertain visitors and well wishes too as well as caring for the baby. no rest at nite and not enough rest during the day either. once things settle a bit in another 2 weeks when the confinement time is up, they have to prepare either a kenduri, full moon or baptism celebration. every culture has it's own and it involves a lot of additional stress and sleepless nites.
The next month, things are getting more settled, the mom & dad need to look for someone to take care of the baby once mom starts working again. Unfortunately the mom has to go back to work just after 2months she is not fully recovered her baby is still very young. they both mom & baby need the extra time.
And the fathers should be given more time too. some companies do not even allow the fathers paternity leave not even 1 day! the fathers had 40 weeks of being with his pregnant wife then he had to go thru the labour without being able to offer much but comfort then after that he has to deal wit all the paper work and help his wife with the baby and work a full time job as well.
But we were all babies once and we all had parents too we too may all one day be parents so let's consider are we really a caring society or a money making society?
As a single working adult for 15 yrs of my life I've had a few colleagues who when on maternity leave never once did resentment fill my mind because of any additional work i have due to her absence. never once did i feel "hey why r u getting paid but i'm doing ur work? however i did resent some colleagues who used to take MC's just becoz they cud and not coz they were sick! it was ans still is 2 very different issues to me.
As a parent of a 6 yrs old, and i have no future intentions of having another kid, Malaysia really must realise that when we are caring we get much more then when we are calculative.
If a boss really cares about his/her workers, they will know it and they will give their 110% effort in appreciation!
I've been working for more than 1/2 of my life and i have had the honor of working for some very good people, those of us who had the privileged to work for them, to us it was some of our best memories! I've also had the "horror" of working for some very self serving people and let me tell u i learned the many ways of not giving as much as i can!
So i think it is a very good idea if more time can be given for maternity & paternity leaves.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
You better start living in the real world la!
Friday June 18, 2010
Cut down on overheads, says Raja Nong Chik
PETALING JAYA: Earning RM3,000 a month should be manageable if folks living in cities cut down on overheads such as Astro and cars, said minister Datuk Raja Nong Chik Raja Zainal Abidin.
The Federal Territories and Urban Well-Being Minister said having cars could be a burden owing to the high cost of maintenance.
He added that a survey showed there was an average of three cars to a flat unit.
However, he did not say if the three-car-to-a-flat ratio was due to several tenants staying in one unit.
No wonder i see some families (dad, mom, and 3 kids) riding one motorbike all over he place! Must be his idea!
“For example, if waiters can manage an average of 10 tables each, the restaurant operator need not hire too many waiters and could therefore pay them better salaries.
Huh! I hope he is not referring to a table of 10 persons coz that would mean waiting on 100 people at one time! I'd like to see the waiter or waitress who can do that!!! Hey May be you should show us how it is done!
Hey Mr What's Your Name! If your salary is RM3000 a month,
you only get a take home pay of Rm 2700 (at the most)
Then if you rent a flat for Rm 400 a month (because I have never seen a flat that is below RM300 anyway near KL!)
And you have 2 kids one in pre school the other a baby you need to pay for baby sitter and kindergarten which can take up at the very least RM600 a month
Let's not forget you have to pay for petrol, and car maintenance which let's put aside RM400 a month.
Then you have utility bills of around RM200 a month and the prepaiod phone (for both the spouse) RM100 Now let's take it that there is no home phone.
Then you need to pay for insurance for 4 persons lets say it's RM500 then the rest is for Diapers, milk, food for 4 persons.
Tell me Mr What's your name, how much do you have left?! Please note there is no astro, or cinema movies or family outing meals included!
That's why la next time better use your brains to think before making smart ass statements!
And excuse me, I'm earning half that amount and living in SEREMBAN that's a city too almost!
So please go give your comments to someone who was born yesterday! because I wasn't!
Monday, May 31, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Another example of bad parenting.
'Home alone' girl may be put up for adoption
By FARIK ZOLKEPLI
farik@thestar.com.my
JOHOR BARU: The two-year-old “home alone” girl, who was left to fend for herself for 17 hours by her jobless parents, will be put up for adoption should the search for her closest relatives not yield any results.
“What they (biological parents) did was ruthless and despicable,” she said, referring to the incident where the little girl was abandoned by her parents while they went job-hunting.
The girl’s 37-year-old father and 23-year-old mother are serving time for abandoning the child at their home in Daiman Apartment here on April 17.
The parents, from Sarawak, had left the two-year-old inside a locked room with only a plate of rice and a little kitten from 5.30am until 10.30pm while they went job-hunting in Singapore.
***********************************************************This here is clearly another example of bad parenting.
Actually I know we did not get the full story here.
I would have liked to know why the parents thought that it was alright to leave a toddler by his or herself?
Was there no one who could have helped them babysit the child?
Don't they have any family members willing to help out? Any Neighbors? Any Friends?
Did the Parents think that it was easier to leave the child alone instead of with someone else?
Why? I'm sure they must have thought it out? So why? I need to understand why they did it.
I'm not here to judge but I wish to really understand why they did what they did. My heart is troubled that as Human we can be so careless? or are we getting so stupid? or are we so desperate to make such bad decisions?
Saturday, May 1, 2010
An example of bad parenting?
The Star Online:
Saturday May 1, 2010
Toddler found drowned in fish tank
A 16-MONTH-OLD toddler was found drowned in an aquarium placed on the floor of her kitchen, reported Kosmo! Nurul Najwa Atika Robin Gantilan, who was under the care of her 12-year-old sister at their home in Muar at that time, was believed to have leaned over the tank to watch the fish when she fell in. Her mother Wan Nor Bahiyah Sabri, 35, was away at that time attending a Maulidur Rasul event at a school nearby while her father Robin Gantilan was working in a plantation. Upon returning from school with her two other children, Wan Nor Bahiyah had gone looking for Nurul Najwa after realising that she was not with her sister, who was sleeping alone in the living room. When she found Nurul Najwa face down at the bottom of the aquarium, she tried to resuscitate her but the toddler did not respond. Nurul Najwa died after being warded for five days in the Intensive Care Unit of the Muar Sultanah Fatimah Medical Centre.
*****************************************************************
I know I'm not supposed to judge. Here is a case of Bad parenting! or to put it more diplomatically bad judgments and bad decisions.
Leaving a toddler in the care of a 12 yr old is just not something a parent should ever consider!
From the article I can assume the mom had to work and there was no babysitter to care for the kids. Therefore she left the baby with the oldest kid. I know being a parent is not easy but making snap decisions and finding the easiest way out will not make the problem go away.
Saturday May 1, 2010
Toddler found drowned in fish tank
A 16-MONTH-OLD toddler was found drowned in an aquarium placed on the floor of her kitchen, reported Kosmo! Nurul Najwa Atika Robin Gantilan, who was under the care of her 12-year-old sister at their home in Muar at that time, was believed to have leaned over the tank to watch the fish when she fell in. Her mother Wan Nor Bahiyah Sabri, 35, was away at that time attending a Maulidur Rasul event at a school nearby while her father Robin Gantilan was working in a plantation. Upon returning from school with her two other children, Wan Nor Bahiyah had gone looking for Nurul Najwa after realising that she was not with her sister, who was sleeping alone in the living room. When she found Nurul Najwa face down at the bottom of the aquarium, she tried to resuscitate her but the toddler did not respond. Nurul Najwa died after being warded for five days in the Intensive Care Unit of the Muar Sultanah Fatimah Medical Centre.
*****************************************************************
I know I'm not supposed to judge. Here is a case of Bad parenting! or to put it more diplomatically bad judgments and bad decisions.
Leaving a toddler in the care of a 12 yr old is just not something a parent should ever consider!
From the article I can assume the mom had to work and there was no babysitter to care for the kids. Therefore she left the baby with the oldest kid. I know being a parent is not easy but making snap decisions and finding the easiest way out will not make the problem go away.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Many people in Malaysia love animals. It is a fact! You can see from the booming pet stores all around us.
Yet there are equally many people who are not capable of looking after animals.
In my humble opinion, we should really take into consideration what a big responsibility it is in sharing our home with a pet. We may find that we are not suited to be pet owners.
I am sure there are many people who only bought a pet as a gift for their kids then later realised too late that they are not able to cope with living with a pet.
The more responsible ones would try to get another home for it and there are those who will take that pet for a one – way drive far away from their home to dump it somewhere else. Then it becomes a stray.
There are some who love their pets so much they cant bear to get it neutered. Then comes the mating season and they are unable to sleep at nights because of the havoc of noise these un-neutered pets cause so they find the most easiest solution, and let the pet out of the house to roam the streets.
These pets, if male help the to breed strays. Those pets which are females on the other hand will end up with a litter of pups unwanted by the pet owners. These pups will then be taken either to be dumped somewhere else or killed! (and I've seen with my own eyes people drowning the pups in a shallow river. I've even tried to rescue many puppies from the drains that they were unable to get out of when I was much younger). And the surviving pups will become our strays.
It would be prudent and it is our responsibility to actually go through a checklist of tough questions ourselves before we go to the pet store or consider taking in a pet.
All living things are cute when they are babies and many people forget that these cuties tend to out grow their cuteness as they grow older.
I hear many tales of people throwing away the pre-adult doggy because it tends to bite everything in sight.
So future pet owners go through this list below before you decide on taking a pet into your home.
1) Will my whole family contribute to the care of the pet?
2) Will my whole family be able to stick to the rules sets about the pet?
3) Will my whole family be alright with the noise the pet may make at night for an undetermined no of nights a few times every year?
4) Is this the only pet we want? If yes We must get the pet neutered.
5) Are we committed to looking after the pet when it is sick?
6) Are we committed to looking after the pet even though one day we may move our living arrangements to somewhere else and different?
7) Are we committed to loving the pet when it's older and when it gets too old?
8) Are we committed to taking it for walks (exercises) and giving it love through human touch / contact?
9) Do we want a security guard or a pet?
10) Are we pet people?
11) Pets are living creatures, they tend to live long lives, they may get sick, they may bite things are we commit ed to them the same way they will commit their love and their lives to us?
Honestly consider your answers before thinking about getting a pet.
A pet is a part of our family.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
A MAjor Headache!
Just wondering, why I'm so stressed?
Why do I feel so tired all the time?
Why is there this naggingly, terrible pain in the back of my head for the past 3 weeks
(on and off)?
Why do I get frustrated and pissed off at the slightest thing? I am so impatient lately (ever since this pain in my head!)
I'm tired yet unable to sleep!
Why, why, why?
Can someone help me?
Why do I feel so tired all the time?
Why is there this naggingly, terrible pain in the back of my head for the past 3 weeks
(on and off)?
Why do I get frustrated and pissed off at the slightest thing? I am so impatient lately (ever since this pain in my head!)
I'm tired yet unable to sleep!
Why, why, why?
Can someone help me?
Monday, April 5, 2010
Baked Pasta with Ground Beef in Spicy Tomato Sauce
Before I began with the recipe, please note that you will only need to bake this dish very briefly to get the cheese melted to give it a nice golden crust on the top. Most of the cooking will be on the stove. This dish serves about 4-5 adults. You can stretch it [if you're on a budget] by adding in more pasta and as cheese is quite costly, I tend to add more of the bechamel sauce and less of the cheese. I tend to use any store bought pasta sauce [from the Jar type] which I find is quite yummy, cost and time effective too. Of course homemade sauce is always better but who has the time!
Also, please feel free to use or replace any type of vegetables you have available. It's not necessary to get a particular ingredient just because the recipe says so. Be creative and let out that inner chef in you!!
Ingredients
Also, please feel free to use or replace any type of vegetables you have available. It's not necessary to get a particular ingredient just because the recipe says so. Be creative and let out that inner chef in you!!
Ingredients
For the Bechamel [white] sauce
2 Cups of Milk [UHT or Powdered Milk mixed with warm water]
100 gms Butter
1.5 cups All Purpose Flour
Salt & Pepper
2 Egg Yolks
- In a heavy based pot or pan, melt butter on very low fire. As it melts, stir in the flour in 3 batches. Be sure to stir vigorously til all the flour is well blended with the butter and becomes a smooth very thick paste. Note: You may add more flour if you find that the sauce is too watery at this stage.
- Pour in half of the milk and the 2 egg yolks into the pot and stir untill well blended. Add in the remaining milk till you reach a smooth and thick custard like consistency in your sauce. Note: If your sauce is still too thick, you may add more milk or water to adjust.
- Seasoned with Salt and Pepper [To taste] and set it aside.
Recipe for Spicy Beef Tomato Sauce
Ingredients
500 gms of Ground Beef
2 Tbs Cooking Oil
2 Tbs Chilli Powder
1 Tbs Cayenne Pepper [If not available, just add more Chilli Powder]
2 Tps Cumin Powder
2 Jars of store bought Tomato Based Pasta Suace [the type with chunky vege is better]
Salt & Pepper to taste
Grated Cheddar or Parmesan Cheese [Reserved for later]
* You can add in more vegetables if you like [Eggplant, Mushrooms, Bell Peppers, Grated Carrots, Tomatoes etc.]
Method
- Heat the pan on high heat and add in the oil. Once hot, add in ground beef and stir for a minute making sure to break up huge pieces of the beef.
- Add in Chilli Powder, Cumin, Cayenne Pepper and stir till well combined. If you have any vege to add this will be the time to add in your chopped veges.
- Pour in the 2 Jars of Pasta Sauce and add 1 cup of water into pan. Let the sauce simmer for 5 minutes on medium heat or till your vegies are cooked.
- Seasoned to taste with Salt and Pepper. Note: Some Sauces can be a little too sour/acidic, add in a tsp or 2 of sugar if you prefer to cut down on the sourness]
- Set it aside.
For The Pasta
1 Large Packet of Fussilli / Shell Shaped Pasta
Just follow the cooking instructions on the packet itself. Always check on the doneness of the pasta 1 to 2 minutes before the allocated cooked time. You don't want an overcooked pasta!
* Be sure to salt the cooking water heavily with salt. [about 3 tablespoons of salt] This will bring out the natural flavour of the pasta when its cooked.
To Assemble
In a large Casserole dish [oven proof], mixed the cooked pasta with the spicy tomato sauce till well combined. Level the surface and topped with the White Bechamel Sauce. Sprinkle with the grated Cheese and baked in an oven at 180 degrees Celcius. Till the cheese melts and the top is golden brown.
Serve Hot.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Chinese school or Kebangsaan school?
Last week, My 5yr old daughter's kindergarten teacher called to talk about my daughter.
Her concern was that my daughter was too slow when it came to writing in school. (she's talking about her chinese writing and BM and English as well).
My girl will be going to Standard One in 2011 and I've registered her into a Chinese school near my house. Mandarin is not my mother tongue and I basically speak only English at home.
But ever since May last year I've enrolled my girl into a Chinese kindergarten and sent her to a Chinese lady to babysit her after school as I'm at work till 6pm.
My daughter's babysitter is a very very nice lady (my daughter calls her Choong Auntie), who helps my girl in her homework and talks to her in Mandarin throughout the day.
My daughter did not know or understand any Mandarin at all until she started going to Choong Auntie's house and this kindergarten and today she can understand all that the teachers and her babysitter says. Nowadays my child even converses in Mandarin to her fellow Chinese friends. but her conversation is laced with lots of English words.
However, after what the teacher said to me, I was worried, was I making the right decision or am I going to ruin her education life?
After her (the teacher's) comments, (i really don't blame her) I know she's just concern about my child catching up in School because she really is very slow in her writing. And you know what they say about Chinese Schools, they are famous for giving loads of homework and they will cane the kids if they don't do it. She also told me some teachers will ignore the very slow ones especially if they have too many kids to attend too. She said some Chinese schools will focus only on the Chinese subjects and neglect BM and English.
Worse is the school I registered my daughter at has very high expectations of the students and they have about 42 to 45 kids per classroom! I was advised to either send her to tuition full time (meaning from 1pm to 5pm) instead of this current babysitter or if i didn't want my child to suffer better to just put her into the Kebangsaan school as she may not catch up in a Chinese School and will be left to be the last in class all the time. Thus my quandary, Do I listen to the teacher or put her into Kebangsaan school?
I want my daughter to be able to read and write in Mandarin. Moreover I feel being in the Chinese school would give her an added advantage over being in the normal Kebangsaan School.
I know there is nothing wrong with the Kebangsaan School yet I believe the Chinese school education system is better. I know many of you may argue that the Kebangsaan school is just as good if not better yet I prefer if she can go to the Chinese school. Besides my late mom was Chinese but she didn't speak Chinese so I want to make sure my daughter knows something of her heritage.
My daughter's babysitter said there is no need to send her to tuition as what she will get at the tuition will be the same as what she is currently getting now. Besides she said the tuition will cost more (and I have a budget to follow). Choong Auntie told me to leave her as she is and later she will catch up it's just she's still very young now and is playful like all children her age is.
I know a few people who are not Chinese but have successfully sent their kids to Chinese School and they have no regrets.
My sister and my brother- in-law have sent their son to a Chinese school initially they have lots of issues with him yet it looks like it's working out well. My sister gave me some good advise too (By the way, Thanks dear!) She said we have to stick to it and it'll work out. My sister's former neighbour a Malay Family has 5 kids all in Chinese School the parents do not speak a word of Mandarin yet the kids are doing well. Another good friend of mine said someone they know (Indians) sent both their daughters to Chinese school and she heard the two daughters arguing in Mandarin!
One other very good family friend (Indian) who has successfully sent both sons to Chinese school told me this, she had the same issues as me when she 1st made her decision for her kids she said she had more faith in her kids then the teacher had. So her advise is to go for it.
And with all these helpful advise I have decided to trust in my daughter and stick to my decision as well.
That's my story for today.
Her concern was that my daughter was too slow when it came to writing in school. (she's talking about her chinese writing and BM and English as well).
My girl will be going to Standard One in 2011 and I've registered her into a Chinese school near my house. Mandarin is not my mother tongue and I basically speak only English at home.
But ever since May last year I've enrolled my girl into a Chinese kindergarten and sent her to a Chinese lady to babysit her after school as I'm at work till 6pm.
My daughter's babysitter is a very very nice lady (my daughter calls her Choong Auntie), who helps my girl in her homework and talks to her in Mandarin throughout the day.
My daughter did not know or understand any Mandarin at all until she started going to Choong Auntie's house and this kindergarten and today she can understand all that the teachers and her babysitter says. Nowadays my child even converses in Mandarin to her fellow Chinese friends. but her conversation is laced with lots of English words.
However, after what the teacher said to me, I was worried, was I making the right decision or am I going to ruin her education life?
After her (the teacher's) comments, (i really don't blame her) I know she's just concern about my child catching up in School because she really is very slow in her writing. And you know what they say about Chinese Schools, they are famous for giving loads of homework and they will cane the kids if they don't do it. She also told me some teachers will ignore the very slow ones especially if they have too many kids to attend too. She said some Chinese schools will focus only on the Chinese subjects and neglect BM and English.
Worse is the school I registered my daughter at has very high expectations of the students and they have about 42 to 45 kids per classroom! I was advised to either send her to tuition full time (meaning from 1pm to 5pm) instead of this current babysitter or if i didn't want my child to suffer better to just put her into the Kebangsaan school as she may not catch up in a Chinese School and will be left to be the last in class all the time. Thus my quandary, Do I listen to the teacher or put her into Kebangsaan school?
I want my daughter to be able to read and write in Mandarin. Moreover I feel being in the Chinese school would give her an added advantage over being in the normal Kebangsaan School.
I know there is nothing wrong with the Kebangsaan School yet I believe the Chinese school education system is better. I know many of you may argue that the Kebangsaan school is just as good if not better yet I prefer if she can go to the Chinese school. Besides my late mom was Chinese but she didn't speak Chinese so I want to make sure my daughter knows something of her heritage.
My daughter's babysitter said there is no need to send her to tuition as what she will get at the tuition will be the same as what she is currently getting now. Besides she said the tuition will cost more (and I have a budget to follow). Choong Auntie told me to leave her as she is and later she will catch up it's just she's still very young now and is playful like all children her age is.
I know a few people who are not Chinese but have successfully sent their kids to Chinese School and they have no regrets.
My sister and my brother- in-law have sent their son to a Chinese school initially they have lots of issues with him yet it looks like it's working out well. My sister gave me some good advise too (By the way, Thanks dear!) She said we have to stick to it and it'll work out. My sister's former neighbour a Malay Family has 5 kids all in Chinese School the parents do not speak a word of Mandarin yet the kids are doing well. Another good friend of mine said someone they know (Indians) sent both their daughters to Chinese school and she heard the two daughters arguing in Mandarin!
One other very good family friend (Indian) who has successfully sent both sons to Chinese school told me this, she had the same issues as me when she 1st made her decision for her kids she said she had more faith in her kids then the teacher had. So her advise is to go for it.
And with all these helpful advise I have decided to trust in my daughter and stick to my decision as well.
That's my story for today.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Animals looking for a home urgent
If there is anyone out there who wants to adopt these animals please help them soon!
Saturday, February 27, 2010
An article by Faris Noor
Thank you Faris Noor for this.
It seems to me In these times we are not moving ahead instead we are going backwards.
We women has proven time and time again how much we have endured and continue to do so with out getting appreciated or are even acknowledge for our struggles.
Why is it our menstruation is a big issue (to men)? We have led countries, fought wars, flown air planes, fought fires, rescued the lost, as well as kept homes, had babies, raised humans, etc.
And yet we are still considered weak?
Let me just say this, we are not weak! God made us smaller, (well some of us anyway, i know i'm not small), He made us more sensitive, He made us filled with feelings, He made us the bearer of humans, He made us the caregivers, He made us full of courage, He made us! That is why women have done so many things throughout history, Women have fought, led, raised, loved, planted, hunted, endured torture, endured struggles beyond words, and remained strong, women have stood beside men from day one right up until now.
And we have had and done all these with our monthly menstruation, gotten pregnant, gave birth, had babies, had our babies die, loved our men, had them die, some women were martyrs for their cause and believes. And we still continue to live on. So why are we weaker, why are we not equal? Personally I think we are more then equal.
Look at the women in our present time.
In a regular middle income family ( without a maid), the wife works a full time job, has kids ( 2-3), She's up in the early hours of the morning, she gets her kids ready for school, does the breakfast, she takes out the clothes out the washing machine (which she put in the night before), she hangs them to dry, then she wakes the kids and hubby up. every makes a mad dash through their morning washing up & getting changed. She washes up, puts on her office clothes, puts on the make up, does her hair, runs down to check on the kids and breakfst, then ushers everyone into the car. Hubby gets on the motor bike and goes off to work, She drops the kids off at school & babysitter. Then she's off to work. at work she works diligently from 8 to 5 then she rushes back to the babysitter picks up the kids rushes back home, starts on dinner, hubby gets home, while cooking dinner she keeps an eye on the kids and their home work. kids starts squabbling, she tell hubby to mind the kids, he does.
Dinner's ready, she tells family to set table, every sits down to eat. after dinner she get hubby to wash up (I sincerely do not know how many husbands does the washing up but i'm assuming there are).
She takes in the dried clothes, she puts more washing into the washing machine, she starts folding the clothes with dear hubby.
She tells hubby to put kids to bed. she goes on to iron the clothes needed for the next day, her feet are tired but she don't want her family to wear crumpled clothes the next day. She goes around the house straightening things up. then she gets ready for bed.
Just before she goes to sleep she needs to spend a bit of time with dear hubby.
And the next day the routine starts all over again. Now tell me how many men can do this 5 - 6 days a week, for years!
I rest my case.
It seems to me In these times we are not moving ahead instead we are going backwards.
We women has proven time and time again how much we have endured and continue to do so with out getting appreciated or are even acknowledge for our struggles.
Why is it our menstruation is a big issue (to men)? We have led countries, fought wars, flown air planes, fought fires, rescued the lost, as well as kept homes, had babies, raised humans, etc.
And yet we are still considered weak?
Let me just say this, we are not weak! God made us smaller, (well some of us anyway, i know i'm not small), He made us more sensitive, He made us filled with feelings, He made us the bearer of humans, He made us the caregivers, He made us full of courage, He made us! That is why women have done so many things throughout history, Women have fought, led, raised, loved, planted, hunted, endured torture, endured struggles beyond words, and remained strong, women have stood beside men from day one right up until now.
And we have had and done all these with our monthly menstruation, gotten pregnant, gave birth, had babies, had our babies die, loved our men, had them die, some women were martyrs for their cause and believes. And we still continue to live on. So why are we weaker, why are we not equal? Personally I think we are more then equal.
Look at the women in our present time.
In a regular middle income family ( without a maid), the wife works a full time job, has kids ( 2-3), She's up in the early hours of the morning, she gets her kids ready for school, does the breakfast, she takes out the clothes out the washing machine (which she put in the night before), she hangs them to dry, then she wakes the kids and hubby up. every makes a mad dash through their morning washing up & getting changed. She washes up, puts on her office clothes, puts on the make up, does her hair, runs down to check on the kids and breakfst, then ushers everyone into the car. Hubby gets on the motor bike and goes off to work, She drops the kids off at school & babysitter. Then she's off to work. at work she works diligently from 8 to 5 then she rushes back to the babysitter picks up the kids rushes back home, starts on dinner, hubby gets home, while cooking dinner she keeps an eye on the kids and their home work. kids starts squabbling, she tell hubby to mind the kids, he does.
Dinner's ready, she tells family to set table, every sits down to eat. after dinner she get hubby to wash up (I sincerely do not know how many husbands does the washing up but i'm assuming there are).
She takes in the dried clothes, she puts more washing into the washing machine, she starts folding the clothes with dear hubby.
She tells hubby to put kids to bed. she goes on to iron the clothes needed for the next day, her feet are tired but she don't want her family to wear crumpled clothes the next day. She goes around the house straightening things up. then she gets ready for bed.
Just before she goes to sleep she needs to spend a bit of time with dear hubby.
And the next day the routine starts all over again. Now tell me how many men can do this 5 - 6 days a week, for years!
I rest my case.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
A lazy Sunday afternoon!
I woke this morning after spending a night at my sister's house, watching 2 horror movies which was Phobia 1 & Phobia 2, ( I'll tell you more about the movie later) anyway My sister (God Bless her soul), made scrambled eggs for breakfast and I made indomee goreng as well ( I really was so hungry this morning).
And right after breakfast I turned on the PC and was online till now. I Have done practically nothing all day yet I feel so lethargic! (Lazy la). We all had a very late night yesterday. Now My wonderful sister is cooking lunch while I'm here writing my nonsense.
I'll help her do the clearing & washing up after lunch. Then I'll be going home with my family. And I consider my weekend over once I reach home. Got so much to do at home, all the clothes need washing the dogs need feeding, the house need cleaning, then the cooking again for dinner and getting our selves organised for Monday. I'll be lucky to get everything done by 8 tonight depends on what time i get started on my way home.
So what I'm actually trying to say here is, I Love spending this time at my dearest sister's house. She lets me take a much needed break from normal life. Thank you so very much Jey.
I'm going to return the favour as soon as Jasmine (her baby girl) gets a little bigger and starts eating food and not fully dependent on Breast milk then, Jey, You can go take your break. And Jey, You are my favourite sister in the whole world! (even though i have only one sister he he he he!).
Now about the movies we saw yesterday, Phobia 1 I tell you the person who did the English language translation was terrible! we were really laughing just by reading the subtitles!
It made no sense. for instance, in the last episode about the flight attendant, kept saying this line everytime she took the inflight intercom to talk to the pilot! "the machine is long!"
Now what machine is she taking about we have no clue!
And in the episode where the 4 guys were camping, one of them was missing in the rapids, the other three guys were calling out "This is virtuous, this is virtuous!"
It made no sense what so ever! and made us laugh so hard!
And another is "Chicken skin pimples" let me tell you there were no chickens insight!
Anyway, I enjoyed laughing so hard. Laughing makes me feel good. I love to laugh and I wish I could laugh more!
We did conclude that the meanings to the sentences is probably :
1) The machine is long = Captain.
2) This is virtuous = that drowning guy's name.
3) Chicken skin pimples = goose bumps.
That's it for today. I'm officially logging off for now.
And right after breakfast I turned on the PC and was online till now. I Have done practically nothing all day yet I feel so lethargic! (Lazy la). We all had a very late night yesterday. Now My wonderful sister is cooking lunch while I'm here writing my nonsense.
I'll help her do the clearing & washing up after lunch. Then I'll be going home with my family. And I consider my weekend over once I reach home. Got so much to do at home, all the clothes need washing the dogs need feeding, the house need cleaning, then the cooking again for dinner and getting our selves organised for Monday. I'll be lucky to get everything done by 8 tonight depends on what time i get started on my way home.
So what I'm actually trying to say here is, I Love spending this time at my dearest sister's house. She lets me take a much needed break from normal life. Thank you so very much Jey.
I'm going to return the favour as soon as Jasmine (her baby girl) gets a little bigger and starts eating food and not fully dependent on Breast milk then, Jey, You can go take your break. And Jey, You are my favourite sister in the whole world! (even though i have only one sister he he he he!).
Now about the movies we saw yesterday, Phobia 1 I tell you the person who did the English language translation was terrible! we were really laughing just by reading the subtitles!
It made no sense. for instance, in the last episode about the flight attendant, kept saying this line everytime she took the inflight intercom to talk to the pilot! "the machine is long!"
Now what machine is she taking about we have no clue!
And in the episode where the 4 guys were camping, one of them was missing in the rapids, the other three guys were calling out "This is virtuous, this is virtuous!"
It made no sense what so ever! and made us laugh so hard!
And another is "Chicken skin pimples" let me tell you there were no chickens insight!
Anyway, I enjoyed laughing so hard. Laughing makes me feel good. I love to laugh and I wish I could laugh more!
We did conclude that the meanings to the sentences is probably :
1) The machine is long = Captain.
2) This is virtuous = that drowning guy's name.
3) Chicken skin pimples = goose bumps.
That's it for today. I'm officially logging off for now.
Friday, February 19, 2010
They are young women!
And now I know that these "Women" are really young women.
They are aged between 18 to mid 20's!
They each had a child out of wedlock. They must have committed this "crime" quite some time ago, but only now they are punished!
What about the partners? have they been punished?
These,... I'll call them girls because they are young! surrendered them self. they were not caught! they have probably already been through hell especially getting pregnant as a teenager (the 18 yr old) and having delivered a premature baby then having you tiny baby die. She must have been so very sorry already to surrender her self, and probably desperate to find relive for the guilt she carries. And of course she welcomes the punishment she thinks she's evil and deserves it.
One feels she's responsible for the future actions of the other young people. She hope they don't follow her foot steps. She's probably been told what a bad example she is!
the last has a 3 yr old child now. They said mid 20's so she's probable 24-25 - 3 yr old child - 10 months of pregnancy = she probably committed the offence when she was 17 or 18 as well.
I have no clue what it means by quote " although she had wanted to make things right by marrying her lover, she took a long time to do so as she could not find her father to give her away. However, I know that is not an excuse. I know that I am wrong." http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2010/2/19/nation/5704762&sec=nation
They are aged between 18 to mid 20's!
They each had a child out of wedlock. They must have committed this "crime" quite some time ago, but only now they are punished!
What about the partners? have they been punished?
These,... I'll call them girls because they are young! surrendered them self. they were not caught! they have probably already been through hell especially getting pregnant as a teenager (the 18 yr old) and having delivered a premature baby then having you tiny baby die. She must have been so very sorry already to surrender her self, and probably desperate to find relive for the guilt she carries. And of course she welcomes the punishment she thinks she's evil and deserves it.
One feels she's responsible for the future actions of the other young people. She hope they don't follow her foot steps. She's probably been told what a bad example she is!
the last has a 3 yr old child now. They said mid 20's so she's probable 24-25 - 3 yr old child - 10 months of pregnancy = she probably committed the offence when she was 17 or 18 as well.
I have no clue what it means by quote " although she had wanted to make things right by marrying her lover, she took a long time to do so as she could not find her father to give her away. However, I know that is not an excuse. I know that I am wrong." http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2010/2/19/nation/5704762&sec=nation
OK I am not a Muslim but why am i bothered about all of this?
it's because I may not be a Muslim but I am a human and so are these girls!
being a single mom is hard enough when you are an adult being one at that young age and in our society is worse! There are many who will say they had it coming and that this would makes kids nowadays think before having sex.
Hey I have a daughter too and I do not want her to become sexually active too young however this is the wrong way to go about it! The right way is to educate them. But our society has this wrapped sense of moral attitude and we still keep sex as a big taboo!
And what of the boys in this thing the fathers? Is it ok for them to have sex out of marriage BUT the girls must remain virgins until they marry?
The news is filled with various people explaining that the "rotanning" doesn't hurt at all no cuts, bruises, etc, etc. what about the mental trauma this causes? What about the humiliation it causes? what about how degrading it makes these girls feel? Even probably reaffirming in them what terrible sinners they are?
Someone else wrote that women wanted equal rights so they should accept the consequences of their actions. He let me quote " Why are these people justifying adultery? They’re concerned for the treatment of women, but this caning is NOTHING compared to the whipping under the Federal’s Criminal Law. Are they trying to be hypocrites now when they hate men cheating on them but now they are justifying adultery? Is this how you are being fair to we men? (Note to editors, delete this section if you think it sounds sexist, though it’s not to me)."http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/index.php/opinion/breaking-views/53640-caning-big-deal--jeg-hui-
It looks to me there is nothing fair about young girls who happen to fall for a guy then allow them selves to get pregnant and abandoned by him, after that raise the child by themselves, surrender to the authorities then get canning!
I think the reason they got the canning is because of someones ulterior motive. Hey they are young they already feel they are guilty and need to be punished so lets cane to show there is nothing wrong with it!
I'm very sure many people will say that val you are not Muslim do not get involved! mind your own business! But you know what this is not about the Muslim religion & it's Laws.
But I'm am writing about how unfair this 3 girls has been treated and it's not 100% their fault! Notice I have not once mentioned the case of Kartika why? because She is an adult and what she did was 100% her own decision I do not agree with her sentencing as well as I've seen many many many more men consume alcohol but they have not been canned once! but that is an issue for people more knowledgeable then my humble self.
This issue how ever is close to my heart being a single mom. And I have Muslim women friends they too are not happy with this. Why ask your own Muslim women friends they will tell you!
Thursday, February 18, 2010
My dear sister had her confinement period about 3 months ago and it was rough on her.
She is a naturally out going person. She has an older boy aged 7 and between trying to nurse her new born baby (her 1st child was not a successful breast fed baby)and taking care of her 7yr old, keeping an eye on our aging (90yr old) grandma and deal with the confinement lady was a stressful time for her.
She is though very thankful for her dear husband help (he helped out when he got back form work) and our dearest 90yr old grandmother was a saint! God Bless AuntiMay, at 90 she still walks well, and still manages to help around the house.
My sister's mother-in-law is also a very good nice and strong lady! and she did so much for my sister as well knowing we did not have our mom anymore she kind of tried to stand in. And I am very very touched by her gesture.
Anyway, I'm getting away from the topic. CONFINEMENT!
I had a half confinement period, well kind of. I am a single parent so I had to do things by my self. I followed the 30 days never leaving the house. I had my daily showers though and i washed my hair when my baby was 3 days old. (I normally wash my hair daily as my hair gets very oily!) so 3 days is way tooo long! I bath my baby at day 4 coz my sister had to go to Singapore then (She was doing for me the 1st few days) I did not have a confinement lady. But I had my grandmother with me. She was God's gift to me. And I love her so very much! SHe helped me through everything.
I eat alot of pork and chicken with ginger and Chinese wine and I drank a lot of red dates water. I also had a lot of fruits and veges so that i did not constipate. You really wouldn't want constipation when you have stitches down there!
Anyway, i was wondering if confinement is really beneficial or not? I think that is is beneficial for the mom and the new baby but my daughter's father did not think so he thought it was a lot of bull. and he said his family did not need it. (He's British) And now 5 years later I just wonder if he is right? Is the traditional confinement period necessary?
I would like to know what others think.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank my dearest Grandmother (AuntiMay)for everything you have ever done for me and Girl-girl
and my sister and my brother-in-law for being there all the time and helping me do everything i couldn't
and my brother (Vince, thanks for handling Katrina's birth certificate applications for me),
and my dearest friends Amy & Victor,
And A special thank you to My brother-in-laws Mom for getting for me the Chinese wine and helping cook the soups for me).
She is a naturally out going person. She has an older boy aged 7 and between trying to nurse her new born baby (her 1st child was not a successful breast fed baby)and taking care of her 7yr old, keeping an eye on our aging (90yr old) grandma and deal with the confinement lady was a stressful time for her.
She is though very thankful for her dear husband help (he helped out when he got back form work) and our dearest 90yr old grandmother was a saint! God Bless AuntiMay, at 90 she still walks well, and still manages to help around the house.
My sister's mother-in-law is also a very good nice and strong lady! and she did so much for my sister as well knowing we did not have our mom anymore she kind of tried to stand in. And I am very very touched by her gesture.
Anyway, I'm getting away from the topic. CONFINEMENT!
I had a half confinement period, well kind of. I am a single parent so I had to do things by my self. I followed the 30 days never leaving the house. I had my daily showers though and i washed my hair when my baby was 3 days old. (I normally wash my hair daily as my hair gets very oily!) so 3 days is way tooo long! I bath my baby at day 4 coz my sister had to go to Singapore then (She was doing for me the 1st few days) I did not have a confinement lady. But I had my grandmother with me. She was God's gift to me. And I love her so very much! SHe helped me through everything.
I eat alot of pork and chicken with ginger and Chinese wine and I drank a lot of red dates water. I also had a lot of fruits and veges so that i did not constipate. You really wouldn't want constipation when you have stitches down there!
Anyway, i was wondering if confinement is really beneficial or not? I think that is is beneficial for the mom and the new baby but my daughter's father did not think so he thought it was a lot of bull. and he said his family did not need it. (He's British) And now 5 years later I just wonder if he is right? Is the traditional confinement period necessary?
I would like to know what others think.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank my dearest Grandmother (AuntiMay)for everything you have ever done for me and Girl-girl
and my sister and my brother-in-law for being there all the time and helping me do everything i couldn't
and my brother (Vince, thanks for handling Katrina's birth certificate applications for me),
and my dearest friends Amy & Victor,
And A special thank you to My brother-in-laws Mom for getting for me the Chinese wine and helping cook the soups for me).
The Canning of the Three Women
Ok it's been too long since I last posted.
I just saw the Movie Julie/Julia (thanks to my brother-in-laws' sister) And it got me itching to blog again.
Too many things has happened since I last posted and my my life is very different from about a year ago. but, the blogging must and it should continue.
I read in the Star online News today about the above title and TA-DA more hypocrisy. I'm sorry I am clueless in Islamic laws but somewhere, once, someone told me that Islam upholds and protects women. If this is true why is in in this beloved country of mine, they decided to cane women?
Ok, Ok I get it some women can be real B******! and I know there are women who commits illicit sex and adultery and etc, etc, etc. But don't the men do it too? Have they ever canned the men who commits illicit sex and commits adultery? I think not!
"They were the first women in Malaysia to receive such punishment under syariah law.
I just saw the Movie Julie/Julia (thanks to my brother-in-laws' sister) And it got me itching to blog again.
Too many things has happened since I last posted and my my life is very different from about a year ago. but, the blogging must and it should continue.
I read in the Star online News today about the above title and TA-DA more hypocrisy. I'm sorry I am clueless in Islamic laws but somewhere, once, someone told me that Islam upholds and protects women. If this is true why is in in this beloved country of mine, they decided to cane women?
Ok, Ok I get it some women can be real B******! and I know there are women who commits illicit sex and adultery and etc, etc, etc. But don't the men do it too? Have they ever canned the men who commits illicit sex and commits adultery? I think not!
"They were the first women in Malaysia to receive such punishment under syariah law.
Hishammuddin said he decided to bring to public attention the punishment meted to the three women because there had been “too much hype” over Kartika’s sentence.
“People are saying that no woman has been caned before and that Kartika should not be caned.
“Today I am announcing that we have already done it. There is no hidden agenda, we are merely executing our responsibility,” he told a press conference at his office yesterday."
Why after so so so so long suddenly last Tuesday, women are being canned?
No hidden agenda? I think you are justifying your act!
I hope those men who neglect child maintenance after they casually discard their wives and move on the the new ones get punished but no they get away "scott free!"
you know what it's always been a bucket load of hypocrisy here and I'm fed up!
To all you women out there do not get in trouble is my advise.
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