Ever since i can remember I've always had people asking me or my siblings, what race we are.
Now why is race so important? Just because our skin color is not actually Chinese looking or Indian looking or Malay looking so they wonder what we are.
Rojak is what I'd like to tell them!
I'm a real Malaysian, my dad is a descendant of Indian parents. My late beloved mom was descendant of Chinese parents.
My dad was raised by his parents in Singapore during the British rule. Being of the catholic Faith they don't follow any Indian rituals or customs.
My mom was raised in a convent of orphanage kids by nuns from all over the world. She has no clue of Chinese customs.
Me, i had to deal with people lumping me into categories, or at least doing their best to lump me into their categories.
Why is it, the government categorize me by looking to my father's race? Where does it say that the male parent the dominant factor in determining my race? My dad sorry to say but he has never had a say in my up bringing.
I was raised by my mom and with the irreplaceable help of my 'Grandma' (she was the lady who came to look after us when we were toddlers when my parents were working and my family owes everything to her! She is of Portuguese descent)
Yes i am Part Indian and i'm proud of it, and yes i'm part Chinese and I'm proud of it too. And being raised by my Grandma I'm Part Portuguese and I'm Proud of it too. (Eh, BTW, Excuse me, but i speak fluent Melaka Portuguese, OK!) But most importantly i'm just me i'm an individual person, I'm Malaysian.
My daughter, she is part of me and part of her father. Her father is part Welch and part English.
Now even htough she was born in malaysia, in her birth cert it states She is British under race /Bangsa.
She is not British! She is Malaysian! Her birth cert has given her a My Kid card to state she is malaysian. she hold a malaysian international passport yet ,..... she had to be lumped into a category by the government! Yet even though she has never met her father, they had to categorize her according to her father! WHY!?! It makes me mad!
And every one that sees her, wants to know what race she is!
Therefore again i ask my question, Why ?
Single parent in Malaysia
About Me
- A.Parent
- Negeri Sembilan, Malaysia
- I'm a simple parent, living a real everyday life.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
HEAL THE WORLD: Don't let Nurin Jazlin die in vain
In memory of Nurin
As a parent myself, I wish to extend my condolences to the family of the little girl. As an adult, i feel we are all responsible for children's safety. No. 1 is of course the parents but we all play a role.
A few months before this happened there have been reports of molesters / kidnappers in the news, it stayed in the news for 3 days at the most then all dies down. Why? Why was there no more reports on the progress of the kids that were adducted in Kg. Baru? What about the child who was taken outside the dad's stall in the market? What happened? Do u know? I'm sure everyone forgot.
I know the police are burdened with millions of cases and few resources but why is no one doing anything? Why spend millions on a building when the money can go to better cause? Like upgrading our police force? (Only 300 man for the whole of Malaysia to track missing persons) Yes in Nurin's case I'm sure the parents had their part in this through taking it for granted that she went with another sister. Even though i personally do not agree with 2 kids going alone, but i don't think they need being reminded that because of them taking things for granted they now can never see their little child ever again. That is the worse punishment any parent can have! outliving their kid but having an innocent child murdered! that's worse!Who are we to judge? After all we are all human and we all make mistakes. now we should learn from their mistakes. I still see kids playing on the road outside the home with no parents in sight. May be this people think this will never happen to them this is the most dangerous thing to happened. Sometimes i feel I'm paranoid but I'd rather be paranoid then sorry when it comes to my kid's safety. I feel the public, parents, kids must be taught about safety. Not only kids and predators but basic safety. Make more safety campaigns in schools for children and parents. Involve the whole community in keeping our neighborhood safe. We should be suspicious and don't think that we are being busy bodies. Teach parents how to teach their kids about strangers and sexual crimes. I and sure 80% of parents do not know how to talk and explain to their kids what being molested is. Especially if you have young children. Why is it that there is no data base in our country that registers sexual offenders after they are caught and when they get out?. At least then we know who lives in our neighborhood and how safe we really are. That would even make the police jobs easier too for tracking purposes.We tend to live in our little own bubble and this we should not. The police need to change their system and not treat all missing persons with the same process. right now, Missing persons are all lumped together and under the same process, be they the aged or teens or grown ups or kids or babies. I had no idea until this case came to light. This also show me how ignorant i was! I thought the police had different priorities to find missing persons. I thought that missing kids had a different department that worked their cases. which is not true. By assigning blame nothing changes! by charging the parents it shows that you just want to point the finger then wash your hands! So come on think! I challenge you the people ruling our country to do something using the gift God gave you your brains.So to change the country we need to change ourselves then work towards changing the rest.
In memory of Nurin
As a parent myself, I wish to extend my condolences to the family of the little girl. As an adult, i feel we are all responsible for children's safety. No. 1 is of course the parents but we all play a role.
A few months before this happened there have been reports of molesters / kidnappers in the news, it stayed in the news for 3 days at the most then all dies down. Why? Why was there no more reports on the progress of the kids that were adducted in Kg. Baru? What about the child who was taken outside the dad's stall in the market? What happened? Do u know? I'm sure everyone forgot.
I know the police are burdened with millions of cases and few resources but why is no one doing anything? Why spend millions on a building when the money can go to better cause? Like upgrading our police force? (Only 300 man for the whole of Malaysia to track missing persons) Yes in Nurin's case I'm sure the parents had their part in this through taking it for granted that she went with another sister. Even though i personally do not agree with 2 kids going alone, but i don't think they need being reminded that because of them taking things for granted they now can never see their little child ever again. That is the worse punishment any parent can have! outliving their kid but having an innocent child murdered! that's worse!Who are we to judge? After all we are all human and we all make mistakes. now we should learn from their mistakes. I still see kids playing on the road outside the home with no parents in sight. May be this people think this will never happen to them this is the most dangerous thing to happened. Sometimes i feel I'm paranoid but I'd rather be paranoid then sorry when it comes to my kid's safety. I feel the public, parents, kids must be taught about safety. Not only kids and predators but basic safety. Make more safety campaigns in schools for children and parents. Involve the whole community in keeping our neighborhood safe. We should be suspicious and don't think that we are being busy bodies. Teach parents how to teach their kids about strangers and sexual crimes. I and sure 80% of parents do not know how to talk and explain to their kids what being molested is. Especially if you have young children. Why is it that there is no data base in our country that registers sexual offenders after they are caught and when they get out?. At least then we know who lives in our neighborhood and how safe we really are. That would even make the police jobs easier too for tracking purposes.We tend to live in our little own bubble and this we should not. The police need to change their system and not treat all missing persons with the same process. right now, Missing persons are all lumped together and under the same process, be they the aged or teens or grown ups or kids or babies. I had no idea until this case came to light. This also show me how ignorant i was! I thought the police had different priorities to find missing persons. I thought that missing kids had a different department that worked their cases. which is not true. By assigning blame nothing changes! by charging the parents it shows that you just want to point the finger then wash your hands! So come on think! I challenge you the people ruling our country to do something using the gift God gave you your brains.So to change the country we need to change ourselves then work towards changing the rest.
I'm in my Silent Scream Mode!
Living a nightmare!
I've been silently screaming lately ever since the Malaysian Government raised the petrol price by 41%!Why silently? because there is no one to listen to my agony! They say change your life style. How do you change your life style when you are already in the water up to you neck and struggling not to go under? Then some one drops a rock weighing a ton on top of you and tell you to " live with it!"As a single parent & single bread winner, my life is hard enough but at least i used to get by. Now,..... I feel I'm slowing drowning. It's not just the petrol price that increases, but essential food items, and house hold items.In this age of modern technology, super corridors, mega projects, etc, i have been washing my daughter's and my own cloths by hand! Why because when my washing machine of 8 years broke down in 2006, I couldn't afford the luxury of a new one!I'm not a charity case yet, (but it does seem like i will end up there eventually) i just feel I'd do without the luxury so i can provide a better daycare for my child when i am not with her.I know everyone is going through hard times now and we all have to take steps to tighten our belts. And i do! I have cut down on my visits to my sister who lives 11 km away from me. But it makes me so sad when she says " come over for this Saturday la" and i have to say "I Can't" just because I do not wish to drive there.Now you can say take the bus la! but,... i really do not want to get into that "very, very blood pressure elevating" topic today. I'll just say the bus service is hopeless!Someone said go talk to your MP in your area, Like as though i have the time or the inclination I just wonder how many people has actually gone and complained to their MP's regarding the rising cost! and What can the MP really do? or How much can they do??I was thinking, if they raise the income level of every one, i can just bet you that the cost of everything else will raise as well!So that is why i am in my silent scream mode!HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!
I've been silently screaming lately ever since the Malaysian Government raised the petrol price by 41%!Why silently? because there is no one to listen to my agony! They say change your life style. How do you change your life style when you are already in the water up to you neck and struggling not to go under? Then some one drops a rock weighing a ton on top of you and tell you to " live with it!"As a single parent & single bread winner, my life is hard enough but at least i used to get by. Now,..... I feel I'm slowing drowning. It's not just the petrol price that increases, but essential food items, and house hold items.In this age of modern technology, super corridors, mega projects, etc, i have been washing my daughter's and my own cloths by hand! Why because when my washing machine of 8 years broke down in 2006, I couldn't afford the luxury of a new one!I'm not a charity case yet, (but it does seem like i will end up there eventually) i just feel I'd do without the luxury so i can provide a better daycare for my child when i am not with her.I know everyone is going through hard times now and we all have to take steps to tighten our belts. And i do! I have cut down on my visits to my sister who lives 11 km away from me. But it makes me so sad when she says " come over for this Saturday la" and i have to say "I Can't" just because I do not wish to drive there.Now you can say take the bus la! but,... i really do not want to get into that "very, very blood pressure elevating" topic today. I'll just say the bus service is hopeless!Someone said go talk to your MP in your area, Like as though i have the time or the inclination I just wonder how many people has actually gone and complained to their MP's regarding the rising cost! and What can the MP really do? or How much can they do??I was thinking, if they raise the income level of every one, i can just bet you that the cost of everything else will raise as well!So that is why i am in my silent scream mode!HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!
In My Shoes
Sunday, June 22, 2008
In My Shoes!
I have read so many times about the price increase but so far i feel that no body actually knows or cares about how much we the general just below average and under average income earners live!In the Star papers, there was an article on how people manage their income but most of them earned RM3000 Average!What about me? And those in my shoes??
I am a single parent! I am not a charity case (though it looks like i'm being pushed into that), I have one kid 3 yrs going on 4. my ex-husband doesn't support me with anything! I work in a factory as an assistant officer. My net income is RM1300 per month! To get to work 7 km away and to send my kid to the babysitter i have to drive my self because the public transport only decides to turn up when they feel like it!!!!!!!!! Moreover, to get from my house to my job of only 8 km distance away, i will have to travel on 2 busses that will take me 20 km in different directions before i can get to work. (What "great" public transportation we have here)!
Just for your infor I live in Seremban not too far off in the rural area but just about 1 hour's drive to KL But we have very crappy public transport services and i imagine most towns have this same crappy service too!
The 13yr old wira car i drive was actually my brother - in - law's old car, God Bless him, he let me use this car when he bought a new one late last year (an iswara) so that i can get to work on time.
I rent my house for RM280 a month and my babysitter cost me RM270 a month.
My utilities bill comes to RM100 and my phone bill around RM80.
I had to cancel my former credit card which i had from my single and free days and now i'm paying for it monthly until the year 2010! RM160 every month!
Then i put money a side for my kid's milk, diapers, food, gas, rice, (all these used to be around RM250 a month)
and of coz petrol! i used to spend RM120 for petrol a month.
And that would leave me RM40 a month for doctor's fees, and may be getting a new slippers for my kid or whatever needed for her.
How i've change my life style, I have not had a hair cut in 2 years! Let me just say i've made changes to my life style - drastic changes - from 2 years ago when my ex-husband left!
However, still, I used to get by. But Then came to petrol price increase!
And now, chicken price has gone up (i'm not even going to talk about the rice price!), eggs, milk, vege, fish, all up!
Even if i sell this old car i still wont be able to cover my expenses for food!
How much and how long do you think that RM625 cash will help me??
I'm so sick and tired of hearing them say change your life style!
There is nothing more for me to change! Unless i skip some meals, may be my breakfast and my lunch?? But then what if i get sick? Who will care for my daughter? How do i pay for the doctor? And if i don't go to work (because i'm sick) may be i might not have work anymore??
Then who will pay all the expenses? Where will i live?
Can the Government give me a house? Now, if I'm struggling now with my income, what about my other friends in this factory where we work together?
Whose salary are RM550 a month. There are 2 women here who are widows with school going kids! who works as operators for 5 - 8 years here and their salary NET only reaches RM650 a month!
lucky they have their own house and do not pay rent!
lucky one of them walks to work another cycles to work. But don't think the price of petrol has not affected them!
Because they still have to buy food and clothes and pay for the kids school bus all have increased!
but the income is still the same! So tell me, how they can get the RM625 subsidy???
What is the government going to do for them??All I hear on the government focused news are how they are trying to find ways to help the civil servants, I'm not saying they do not need help, but,
WHAT ABOUT US???
Is anyone doing anything for us or would you all prefer we just die of quietly??
Our income will not be increased, and you can bet because of everything the company will not increase the salaries for next year as well because they need to cut cost or close shop!
Then what will we do?? Did you know that you can get welfare help if your families income is RM350 and below only? This was what they told them and because they have work, they are not entitled for welfare help!
So can some one explain to US, THE REAL PEOPLE JUST WHAT THE HELL IS THERE FOR US TO CHANGE???
AND DO NOT TELL US TO GET ANOTHER JOB BECAUSE WE DO NOT HAVE THE TIME!!!
I really do want a reply from someone who can really give me good clear answers not some "merry - go - round the bush" answer! Thank you!
I wrote this letter to the Star but there was no replies. I forwarded to the Malaysia Today Editor and They posted it on their website, i received many comments there. And I thank all of you for your comments.
"All compromise is based on give and take, but there can be no give and take on fundamentals. Any compromise on mere fundamentals is a surrender. For it is all give and no take." Mohandas Gandhi
An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching. Mohandas Gandhi
In My Shoes!
I have read so many times about the price increase but so far i feel that no body actually knows or cares about how much we the general just below average and under average income earners live!In the Star papers, there was an article on how people manage their income but most of them earned RM3000 Average!What about me? And those in my shoes??
I am a single parent! I am not a charity case (though it looks like i'm being pushed into that), I have one kid 3 yrs going on 4. my ex-husband doesn't support me with anything! I work in a factory as an assistant officer. My net income is RM1300 per month! To get to work 7 km away and to send my kid to the babysitter i have to drive my self because the public transport only decides to turn up when they feel like it!!!!!!!!! Moreover, to get from my house to my job of only 8 km distance away, i will have to travel on 2 busses that will take me 20 km in different directions before i can get to work. (What "great" public transportation we have here)!
Just for your infor I live in Seremban not too far off in the rural area but just about 1 hour's drive to KL But we have very crappy public transport services and i imagine most towns have this same crappy service too!
The 13yr old wira car i drive was actually my brother - in - law's old car, God Bless him, he let me use this car when he bought a new one late last year (an iswara) so that i can get to work on time.
I rent my house for RM280 a month and my babysitter cost me RM270 a month.
My utilities bill comes to RM100 and my phone bill around RM80.
I had to cancel my former credit card which i had from my single and free days and now i'm paying for it monthly until the year 2010! RM160 every month!
Then i put money a side for my kid's milk, diapers, food, gas, rice, (all these used to be around RM250 a month)
and of coz petrol! i used to spend RM120 for petrol a month.
And that would leave me RM40 a month for doctor's fees, and may be getting a new slippers for my kid or whatever needed for her.
How i've change my life style, I have not had a hair cut in 2 years! Let me just say i've made changes to my life style - drastic changes - from 2 years ago when my ex-husband left!
However, still, I used to get by. But Then came to petrol price increase!
And now, chicken price has gone up (i'm not even going to talk about the rice price!), eggs, milk, vege, fish, all up!
Even if i sell this old car i still wont be able to cover my expenses for food!
How much and how long do you think that RM625 cash will help me??
I'm so sick and tired of hearing them say change your life style!
There is nothing more for me to change! Unless i skip some meals, may be my breakfast and my lunch?? But then what if i get sick? Who will care for my daughter? How do i pay for the doctor? And if i don't go to work (because i'm sick) may be i might not have work anymore??
Then who will pay all the expenses? Where will i live?
Can the Government give me a house? Now, if I'm struggling now with my income, what about my other friends in this factory where we work together?
Whose salary are RM550 a month. There are 2 women here who are widows with school going kids! who works as operators for 5 - 8 years here and their salary NET only reaches RM650 a month!
lucky they have their own house and do not pay rent!
lucky one of them walks to work another cycles to work. But don't think the price of petrol has not affected them!
Because they still have to buy food and clothes and pay for the kids school bus all have increased!
but the income is still the same! So tell me, how they can get the RM625 subsidy???
What is the government going to do for them??All I hear on the government focused news are how they are trying to find ways to help the civil servants, I'm not saying they do not need help, but,
WHAT ABOUT US???
Is anyone doing anything for us or would you all prefer we just die of quietly??
Our income will not be increased, and you can bet because of everything the company will not increase the salaries for next year as well because they need to cut cost or close shop!
Then what will we do?? Did you know that you can get welfare help if your families income is RM350 and below only? This was what they told them and because they have work, they are not entitled for welfare help!
So can some one explain to US, THE REAL PEOPLE JUST WHAT THE HELL IS THERE FOR US TO CHANGE???
AND DO NOT TELL US TO GET ANOTHER JOB BECAUSE WE DO NOT HAVE THE TIME!!!
I really do want a reply from someone who can really give me good clear answers not some "merry - go - round the bush" answer! Thank you!
I wrote this letter to the Star but there was no replies. I forwarded to the Malaysia Today Editor and They posted it on their website, i received many comments there. And I thank all of you for your comments.
"All compromise is based on give and take, but there can be no give and take on fundamentals. Any compromise on mere fundamentals is a surrender. For it is all give and no take." Mohandas Gandhi
An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching. Mohandas Gandhi
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