Living with asthma.

               My nose totally can't be used for breathing last night nor this morning, been breathing through my mouth! Been coughing so much it is making my chest hurt each time I  cough. Can hear mild wheezing with each deep breath I take!

This is the time when I really wish I had my mummy here to "manjakan" me like she used too when I was very young and got the flu, cough and asthma.

Come to think of it, Aunty May (this special lady looked after me and my siblings from the time we were very small right up to now! She's 90 yrs old now) used to manjakan me too when I was sick. I remember she used to buy for me warm coca-cola and let me drink while I lay in bed, struggling to breath and my sister and brother would play near by.

It never bothered me that they enjoyed playing while I was sick, It was entertaining just watching them. I remember I would watch them when I was awake and it was enough, then I'd just close my eyes as it was every tiring just being awake. I do remember thinking all my wheezing noises would keep the whole house from sleeping at night and felt very bad about it. The wheezing noise I made whenever I took a breath was very loud. My younger brother (he was like 5yrs old then) used to say I got music inside!

I had very bad asthma attacks from a very young age. My 1st memories of being sick was even before I was in school. It was around Christmas time, We lived in 'Kampung Pasir' (the direct English translation for that would be "Village Sand" ) then, I remember this Uncle Jack from the Portuguese settlement in Malacca came to Visit and he loved kids and was very good with kids and we kids loved him! He bought Ice cream for all the kids, but I was stuck in bed, too weak to get out and play, because of asthma, and since I couldn't eat ice cream, he brought for me a balloon and I was happy with that. I remember clearly the noise the kids were making when they played outside the fun they had and all I did was lie in bed propped up with tons of pillows and cushions to keep me in a slightly sitting position (I can't be flat on my back as it was very difficult to breath) and sleep, too weak to even want to go play and join in the fun.

I can remember my mom checking on me, she used to run her hand over my forehead to check for fever and then she'll rub my chest and back with 'vicks vapor rub' this always made me feel so good. Nowadays I do this for my daughter when ever she gets sick. I also remember My dear Aunty May doing this for me too every time I was sick when my mom wasn't around. Aunty May would sit by my side once her work was done and pat me to sleep, even though I was by then about 8 years old or even 9yrs old.

One incident I won't be forgetting, happened when I was 16yrs old. I got sick and it developed into a bad asthma attack. It got so bad we had to get my cousin James to take me to the doctor as he was the only one we knew who had a car then. It was so difficult as we had to walk along the railway track for about 100 meters to the car and I had my sister on one side, my brother on another side and I was so weak that I practically fainted on the track. My brother had to run to my cousin's house to get help to carry me. It took 4 of them my cousins James and Sylvester, my brother and my sister to help me up and walk to the car. I bet they wouldn't have forgotten that either!

In adulthood the attacks has been more manageable as I am stronger and know what to do. I still get very weak, very very tired as when my lungs swell (as in the case of an asthma attack), I get less air in. I take precautions now and will get myself to a doctor before it gets worse.

Being an adult though, means there is no one to give me the cuddles, pats  back rubs and chest rubs like the ones I got when I was little.

Now I'm sick again and looks like another bad one coming on (hopefully it's not that bad) but being here alone with a child to take care of as well as work to do, I terribly miss my mummy caring for me, and even though Aunty May is still around she's very old now and she's occupied with "manja ing" our kids.

And so I've come to the end of my reminiscing.

My gift: an angel from God

God sent me this little angel. For me to care for on earth.
She has no idea how much happiness she brings into my life.
She brightens up my days and my nights.
Her very existence gave me the will to live when my world was at it’s darkest.
Her face, it is perfect, she's sweet, beautiful, soft and pure. Her light shines with purity and innocents form within her soul. Sometimes she can be willful, stubborn and mischievous yet she is also demure, kind, caring and loving. She tries her very hardest to please and to do what's right.
She gives the greatest hugs from morning until night.
Every person that has known her sees this light within her soul
In this whole wide world, I feel she has a special role. She's helpful and considerate to everyone she knows.
This light in her shines brighter as my angel grows.
When she sees someone is sad, she feels sad and wants to do all she can to change that sadness to gladness. She'll squeeze away the sorrow with her hugs and ease the pain in my heart.
I believe God has Blessed me when I saw my angel's face. From the moment she came into my world, I knew that she was so much more than just my baby girl.
She is my morning sunshine, she’s my clear blue sky, she’s my angel on earth. My life will never be the same nor will it have been any better, for my darling little angel.

I pray My God, protect my little angel and Bless her always, Amen.

Good Bye My Dearest Friend, Tequila

I had to put my Tequila down last Friday, the 4th Feb 2011. I had no choice.  I couldn't bring my self to remember him or think about him being gone these few days but coming home last nite and there was only silence no more hearing him bark in welcome, it was so final. I'll never see him again and I need to say good bye.       Tequila my dear bunny baby, I love you. You had aged and I know you weren't happy anymore. You had almost lost all your hearing, and i think your sight was going too, you couldn't go roaming freely like you used to. You couldn't walk anymore and I was not able to care anymore for you my baby boy.        This time, my honey bunny you didn't bounce back. I wished I had  more time and energy to have had cared for you better in your old age, my dear friend.  For you were much more then just a dog, or a friend, you were part of my life and my family for 16years. It was good years, we had, you and Dancer were little (fat and pampered) angels that we loved dearly to some people's annoyance :) we know.       My one regret was in forgetting how much you hated injections. I'm terribly sorry that you had to go through that pain in your last moments, I can only hope that my holding you through it gave you a bit of comfort and that hopefully it made the pain a little less terrible for you my dear boy.        I comfort myself with the thought that you are no longer suffering in this world but that you are happy now where you are with your dear brother Dancer. I know you missed him in the 2 years that he went on 1st and left you behind.        I'll remember the good days we had, I'll not forget what good company you were to me when my days were dark and lonely. I won't forget the security you gave me. You will always be in my heart. My beloved Tequila 25th Dec 1995 to 4th Feb 2011.        Below was a poem I found which seems like what you would have silently said to me, Good bye my little baby boy. I miss you so much.  May I go now? Do you think the time is right?  May I say good-bye to pain-filled days and endless lonely nights? I've lived my life and done my best, an example tried to be. So can I take that step beyond and set my spirit free? I didn't want to go at first, I fought with all my might. I’m sure you know. But something seems to draw me now to a warm and loving light. I want to go. I really do. It's difficult to stay. But I will try as best I can to live just one more day. To give you time to care for me and share your love and fears. I know you're sad and afraid, because I see your tears. I'll not be far, I promise that, and hope you'll always know that my spirit will be close to you wherever you may go. Thank you so for loving me. You know I love you, too. That's why it's hard to say good-bye and end this life with you. So hold me now just one more time and let me hear you say, because you care so much for me, you'll let me go today. In 2004 Tequila and Dancer brothers. They are together again now. Author: Susan A. Jackson.

Confinement Practises

Do you think confinement practices are good or detrimental to the mother? Or is it a waste of time?

One can not dismiss age old practices totally, even in the modern era with advances in medical care and evidence-based medicine. A lot of the confinement practices (more than 60%) are related to foods, and food directly contributes to nutrition, which is important to everyone, more so after a childbirth.

After childbirth, a woman may feel “weak”, and this is likely to be due to a sudden withdrawal of “feel good” hormones as well as anemia due to blood loss during labour. Also, the stomach and bowels which are initially compressed by the pregnant womb, now suddenly expands because of the sudden decrease in the size of the womb. These organs swell up with air and fluid, hence the sensation of bloatness or “wind”. If we can understand this, we can appreciate why the foods that are prepared (containing ginger or black pepper) for the mother in confinement appears to correct the problem.

However, like everything else, one should be selective about confinement practices. Practices that are outright irrational such as not taking shower for prolonged periods or avoidance of fruits or vegetables cannot possibly be beneficial to the woman.

What are some of the confinement practices that contradict modern science? 

 The most glaring is the prohibition of having a bath and washing the hair. It is illogical not to put hygiene as top priority. Keeping one’s body clean through regular shower is more likely to contribute to quick recovery.

The other one would be the avoidance of fruits or vegetables. These foods are a good source of vitamins and fibres which would help ensure good bowel habits and faster recovery.

Eating internal organs or seafoods are fine if well cooked. For that matter, foods that are raw should not be consumed during pregnancy and confinement for fear of contracting nasty bacteria such as listeriosis or salmonella (leading to food poisoning).

Traveling long distance in the car is fine, provided she takes plenty of breaks in between. In general, carrying heavy objects less than 10kg is acceptable.

Apart from this, carrying out any activities or taking any foods in moderation should not be an issue.